[photo from BUTT MAGAZINE]

I do what (and whom) I choose with my butt, and I want the whole world to know!

Well, that’s not necessarily true, but if it were, I’d finally have a forum to share TMI that didn’t cost $24.95 per month.

But now, it seems, I do!  In fact, I can finally scrape up the pride I [never] left curbside, among the chucked slushees and free condoms at the parade in P-Town, and do something with it.  I can help gay activist Trever Hoppe curate his new project, The Bottom Monologues.

“The Bottom Monologues is all about…telling gay/bi/queer/trans men’s stories about bottoms. As collaborators, we have some ideas about our own experiences, but we knew that to really do bottoms justice, we needed to get your stories straight from the tap.

What we want is your story. Unfiltered. And perhaps even uncut. Write a poem or a song. Stream of consciousness? Fantastic. Or even just plain old prose. Whatever style works best for you, works best for us!”

Not only is this a cleverly furtive approach to creating “gay” art without shying away from, y’know, graphic content (dicks in butts, y’all!), but it’s also refreshingly devoid of sensationalism.  Without being overly sensitive (read:  a lesbo) about it,  Hoppe is spearheading an idea — one that could, indeed, be considered precarious in its nature — with a sense of boy-next-door charm, thus denying it the type of naughty novelty flavor that free gay weeklies would kill to cover (if only The Bottom Monologues were stamped with a picture of a twink — eyebrows tweezed like the dickens — holding a book over his buttcrack and a pinky at the mouth).

But even more awesome about The Bottom Monologues is that they’re probably going to make Eve Ensler — the creator of The Vagina Monologues — reeeeeeally angry.

I’m not really one to try and do “year end round ups” like most blogs, mostly because my cultural memory only spans around 2 weeks. But this song that just came to my attention on the last day of 2k8 may win all the GMSC year end awards I am not giving out.

Muffy “Gone Hate”

[via JJS III at It’s The Money Shot]

Since my blog buddy JJS III posted his with a chat conversation recording the reaction, I’m just going to follow along with that meme. Of course the convo was with my now Gawker famous bestie Erin Williams (see her blog at Steeez) who is not on The City but is way cooler than the pouting “downtown girl” that hangs with Whitney Port. To those uninitiated in the world of RSS, we share things with eachother via Google Reader.

me:  OMG
YOU NEED TO SEE WHAT I JUST SHARED
Erin:  ok!
me:  MUFFY “Gone Hate”
new fave song
Erin:  wow.
me:  yeah
yeah
yeah
i like… hyperventilated
it’s soooooo good
Erin:  when.
she.
get.
pb&j.
in the bathtub.
me:  these bitches they hate cuz I just put my new weave in

There are few things I will miss about 2008. 2008 was like a weird year that just extended 2007 for twice the time. It’s almost like 2008 didn’t happen. Looking forward to 2009 when we all get to realize change.gov that matters.

But there is one thing I will miss. And that thing is Sparks. Sparks Light (in the blue can) to be specific. Like this one time? We made a weird music video with me and my friends to the song “Careless Whisper”? And we made a Sparks keg by pouring a ton of it into a ice tea container? And all got disgusted because the foam that came off the container was solid and wouldn’t dissolve, much like sea foam on the beach. That was when I learned to only drink the stuff out of a can. And now, as most of you have heard, the Attorney General has declared that we can no longer imbibe of this holy water for hipsters.

[img via Hipster Runnoff]

Now no one has memorialized Spark quite like artist Nathan Danilowicz, with his Sparks Christ, Baby Sparks Christ, Sparks Teeth, and other Sparks based projects, but I will do my best. So now, a poem:

Sparks, like a light in the dark
You keep me up all night
Like the song of the lark

I drink you in the early evening
So awake
Ready to go to a bar
And be irresponsible

You are orange
Like a tabby cat
Or a street sign that flashes “Stop”
Hope my insides turn that color

Whoops
Someone is in my bed
Condom lies on floor
Good job, Sparks
Tastes like success

How can I live without?
I can haz Sparks? I can’t haz. Fail.

When I am at the pearly gates
I will ask St. Peter for one last Sparks
And find you there
A can with wings and a halo
Red Bull can suck it

While cruising the internets you sometimes come across things that change your life, like the now infamous 2girls1cup. The other day, I came across something that has since rocked my mind. Enter “The Cheetah Lady.”

I sent this to occasional GMSC contributor Elliott and he literally had nightmares. No joke. There’s something indescribabley creepy about the way this lady commits to the character of “Cheetah.”

In the great tradition of reaction videos made popular by 2girls1cup, I couldn’t help but create a reaction video. I asked Charlie Tu, honorary GMSC member via his twitter and now a highly blogged about glutton at Charlie Tu Eats, to give the video a look. It was an experiment to see how long it took for people to stop laughing and start getting real.

I only made it about 12 seconds in before I lost it. Brave job, Charlie, brave job.

 I would totally provide more commentary, but I’m busy digesting feces.

[via Everything Is Terrible]

Fred Phelps and all the human shitstains at Westboro Baptist have issued their annual Christmas video, which is like if Weird Al wrote lyrics to a holiday song, but if Weird Al was one of the worst people in the world.

Golf claps for the “Santa Fag” sign, though.  That one’s totes true.

This viral video was going around the other day. It’s really something amazing. I can’t believe they made a child actor do this.

A little bit of research revealed that this is an excerpt from a CBS made-for-tv movie called Child of Rage. The IMDB description has one of my new favorite sentances (it’s bolded, that’s not part of the original text).

Rob and Jill Tyler adopt 2 children named Catherine and Eric. Eric is sweet, quiet and shy and Catherine is nice at times but has these terrible violent outbursts for no apparent reason. Catherine sticks the dog with needles until the dog bleeds. She smashes Eric’s head on the basement floor, causing him to go to the emergency room and tries to stab her new adoptive father with a knife while he’s sleeping. Jill and Rob try to find a doctor and they eventually find Dr. Rosemary Myers. She examines Catherine and find out that she was abused by her biological father and wants Catherine to overcome this rage. Dr. Myers, Jill, and Rob preform holding therapy for Catherine and at first it doesn’t seem to work, but Catherine seems to become more at ease as the therapy progresses.

Sometimes I stick dogs with needles, but it’s ok because they don’t bleed because the dogs I stick with needles are taxidermy.

Needless to say, this classic is in the mail and I’m sure to soon host a screening. Also, also if you don’t want to commit to the DVD, this guy put the whole thing on YouTube by filming his television, if that’s something you want to sit through.

I know you all have all seen this, but since this is a gay blog, I need to post it. A week or two late. Because basically in the internet age, we can be nostalgic for things that happened a week ago.

Miss prop 8 activism so much

Videogum posted this awesome interview  with the creators. These two videos need to be posted together. That’s the originality I am bringing with this post.

You all use gmail right? Because if not, it’s time you junk you’re Hotmail, AOL, or Prodigy address and get on the Web wagon with the cool kids. If you’re like me and love to use emoticons, you’ll love the secret emoticons like the pig and crab. But have you seen the latest and greatest? You can now send people steaming turds in your emails!

As a proud fudge packer, I can’t think of anything greater to punctuate my dirtiest thoughts. Who wants a plate job?

This feature hasn’t yet been added to chat. But based on the conversation in the comments over at Web Upon, I’d say Google should be working on this feature. THE PEOPLE WANT POOP!!!

The excerpts from the comments after the jump. Read More!

So I was laid up most of the weekend in bed trying to get over my cold. Actually most of the evenings last week as well. So sorry if I sent any bizarre emails to anyone, I was really bored and on cough syrup. Besides that the only thing I really accomplished was watching a ton of TV online with my computer, rediscovering my love of a classic teen series The O.C. It’s become enough of an obsession where I’ve started referring to my O.C. time as “Hangin’ with Marissa Cooper” or “Hangin’ with the Coop,” not to be confused with the TGIF hit Hangin’ with Mr. Cooper. (starring Raven Symoné! Love her so much when she rides  a segway.)

And there are plenty of reasons I now love The O.C. and I think everyone should revisit 2005 or whenever this show was highly blogged about. Read More!