I went away to Provincetown this weekend for my last true vacation of the summer. Best summer ever guys! We all need to keep in touch when we go college in the fall! Nothing can break the bonds of our friendship! I’m gonna miss you all so much!

You guys have all been to P-Town already, right? Because this was my first time and I’m a little bit in love with the place. I also came back with a set of Saved By The Bell “The College Years” trading cards, lip gloss in a container shaped like a toilet, and Celine Dion’s driver’s liscense (it’s class “DIVA”), gifted (pronounced jifted) to me by the incredibly funny Dina Martina. She’s a Seattle drag queen that brings drag to a transcendent level of comedy; I am hesitant to even call her a drag queen, because she’s just a drag creature. You just have to see one of her shows to understand, and I highly recommend it to any of you still going out to P-town this August.

I never really knew that a Cape Cod loving white Anglo Saxon Protestant lay deep within my hard working and drinking Irishman’s soul, but there’s one deep down in there, enjoying watercress and cucumber sandwiches, playing tennis, and arrogantly dismissing all poor people. After visiting, all I really want to do is run away for the next three months in a sea shanty on the beach, watch the weather turn into fall, and try and write the next great American novel.

The big gossip while I was there was that Andrew Sullivan had recently bought the last small apartment on the tip of Captain Jack’s. The place seriously looks like this:

How do I become Andrew Sullivan’s houseboy?

Yes, these homes might be whimsical and childish looking. I recognize this. They also kind of look like where the Pirates of the Carribean (from the Disneyland ride, not the ones in the movie based on the ride) might live. But I also find them to be completely desirable living accommodations? Is this ok or do I need to be saved from my own bad taste?

I’m leaving for the West Coast guys. Going camping with some friends. Going camping in conjunction with Lazy Bear Weekend!

The only problem with this is that as publisher and editor of this blog, there will be nothing new here to entertain you until I get back. The Social Crisis will return in a week, ya’ll.

But really, guys, I’m going to be camping and running around in the woods and making masks. I need to know my spirit animal for this crazy vision quest I’m about to embark on in northern California. Some have suggested that it’s a red panda, although I think I’m more like a koala. Obviously an internet poll posted in my absence is the best way to determine this. Find the poll after the jump. Read More!

Comedian John Roberts has a new video in honor of this past mother’s day. As much as I hate posting someone else’s video when I have nothing original original to say, his work merits a mention. Because this shit makes me LOL.

Love and respect your mother, guys. You came out of her.

Hey guys. It’s spring. I redid my backyard just so that I can have you all over.

I can’t wait, guys! Let the good times BBQ bonanzas roll! You’ll know who I am because I’ll be the one wearing wearing shorts and Toms (with no socks) all weekend.

I am on vacation right now in LA. I went down and saw Venice Beach and got to be an obnoxious tourist. I met some new people, such as a chirping man and a rapper from the land where stars are reborn.

Venice Beach from Colin on Vimeo.

So my obligatory Merry Xmas post is a day late. Because I’ve been too obsessed with this new Wii (Sidenote: Am I a thirteen year old boy? Yes… yes perhaps I am…). Also, my sister is perpetually on the computer checking her Facebook and like… updating her pictures and stuff.

So Merry Xmas from me and Kate Bush’s crazy eyes.

Hey! Here’s an awesome video I made during my “green screen” phase in video production class in high school.

JK, guys, just JKing you!! Actually it’s Kate Bush’s idea of a Christmas special in 1979. Because when Kate Bush thinks Christmas, she thinks pyramids, strangely constructed fake burqas, high powered fans, and weird symbolic gang rape.

Because it’s getting to be that time of year, I’m providing a helpful list of things that you can get me for Christmas. Those who do not oblige will be swiftly deleted from my Myspace and subject to years of ding-dong ditch.

You probably want to print this out.

10. CROCHET UGG BOOTS.

These are one of Oprah’s favorite things. And if I can’t be Oprah, I can at least pretend I am by feverishly obtaining all of her favorite things and wearing/using them all at once while dressed in blackface and crying out for Gayle King’s gentle embrace.

9. KOPI LUWAK COFFEE.

I’m tired of drinking coffee that I’ve had to digest entirely on my own. Which is why I’m asking for Kopi Luwak coffee, which is made from beans passed through the digestive system of civets. Who else do you know who drinks stuff that’s been shat out of a monkey? That’s what I thought, you filthy plebeians.

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It turns out Eeez and I both have to be in the office on this beautiful post-Thanksgiving day that we should have off. I shared my Thanksgiving with her via gchat while updating the interweb sites I work on for, you know, my real job that pays me.

me: everyone liked my appetizers, but like, mmmm, they made some awesome food
also, we found out 15 sticks of butter were used
that’s a stick per person

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I think I’ll just have a salad this year.